Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Garden Carnivores

Pictured below:
~top--a lovely specimen of Sarracenia rubra (Pitcher Plant)
~bottom--my backpack, covered with the slobber of Ursus americanus (Black Bear)

(both in Sheena and Terry's garden)



The Pitcher Plant has all a manner of devices to trap insects inside its rather blatantly throat-like leaf structure: intoxicants, slippery footholds, backwards-hairs, and a plummet-pool of oozy digestive juices. Bottom line: it must smell good. Like my backpack for example. Note pool of oozy digestive juices.

For illustrative purposes, I have retrieved an archived photo of the back steps (below). I was seated just to the left of the amber-coloured pots this past Monday evening, filling out an invoice, when said BEAR walked by, between the deck and the table. What is that? Let's say 5 feet, for dramatic purposes.



This was a large bear (let's say 4 feet, for dramatic purposes) who, in spite of the crunchy gravel pathway, made not a sound. In fact, s/he seemed to drift by, like a (large furry) shadow in a Bear Dimension in which I did not even Merit Concern. For this I am thankful. Nevertheless, in a token tribute to prey-species everywhere, I let out a startled squawk and translocated inside the house. Sheena, who had warned me that said Bear had made an appearance a few days before, had left the kitchen door unlocked for just such an occasion.
There he goes...


Bear was heading for the scrawny old plum tree on the other side of the yard...plums on the ground...and my backpack in the front yard, which was very funny, because when we finally emerged from the house I exclaimed "Well, at least he didn't get into my backpack!" and promptly stuck my hand in a puddle of bear goober. I had already eaten my lunch, and the empty lunch bag was on the ground.
Very Good Nose.

I hear that the latest tactic in Urban Bear Management is scaring bears with loud noises and rubber bullets and bear dogs so they learn to be afraid of humans.

In the interim (of acquiring a bear dog/rubber gun etc.), if you see a bear, stay reeaallly still because he probably won't notice you, unless you're wearing your fruit hat. Try not to scream too. And Sheena, we should mulch your sarracenia for the winter.

1 comment:

Sheena said...

Okay people - the white plastic chairs were a temporary measure and are GONE.

Sarracenia ruba
1. Are you impressed that I didn't write 'The pink thing by the front path'?
2. Your 'musical plants' grouping around it is perfect and gives me great pleasure every time I walk by. Thank you!
3. Yes I guess we should mulch it. Amazing that it survived last winter.

The Bear
1. He is much taller that 4 ft. When he stood up at the kitchen door last week his head was level with the door frame.
2. Good thing he didn't amble by ten minutes earlier when you were eating blueberries.
3. How lucky that he didn't damage or walk off with your backpack.
4. Bear slobber is disgusting.
5. Will I have to stand guard over you in the garden in future?